Don't Be -- You Don't Have to Go it Alone

(Picture illustrated by yours truly. The actual file can be found at my profile page on deviantART. You can also find a lot of other works, there--a couple old literature projects, as well as paintings, sketches, and such.)

You want to be the tough one, you need to show everyone you are strong enough to make it through your problems on your own. You don't need to tell anybody about the pain or hurt you feel.

That's what I thought, too.

Last semester, I almost flunked out of college. I'd moved in three days before classes started, and my roommate and I got along really well. But then he started showing up less and less, spending most of his time in his girlfriend's room. I tried not to let it bother me, at first. After all, I always thought of myself as a lone wolf. But left to my own devices, I ended up letting the room fall into disarray, as well as my health.

And it didn't help that I skipped classes one day. And then the next. And then the week after that. What they say is true--you miss one, and you end up missing a whole lot more. Not only was this happening, but my sleep schedule was screwing itself up gradually, too. I was an unshaven, unkempt mess who stayed up 'til 7 A.M. and slept til 7 P.M.

I wouldn't leave the room. Some days I went without eating because I didn't want to show my face to the world. That's how bad things were. My roommate would only come in the room, around 2 A.M., to sleep. Then I wouldn't see him anymore.

One day he showed up and told me to clean up my side of the room. I was aghast. How could this dude, who was never even in the room to begin with, tell me to clean up a room he'd long since abandoned? But I did it, grudgingly.

My biggest regret was not telling him how I felt about all of it. He was a nice guy, and I'm sure something would have changed had I opened my mouth, just once. But I had to be the tough dude. This was my problem alone, right?

NO.

People are willing to help, if you just let them. My parents found out something was wrong, and had I told them from the start, we could have avoided the whole mess. I moved out of the dorm and began my recovery and preparation for the next semester: and I'd have to pass above a certain GPA to avoid being kicked out, altogether.

The problem with the dorm was my feeling of loneliness, even though there were friends all around me. But that's just my point:

You don't have to be alone to be lonely.

And if you're feeling lonely, you should let someone know. Then, you're not lonely anymore. They'll help you feel better, and guide you back on track.

Now, I know my plight wasn't nearly as bad as others' in the world.  My message still applies. People have the ability to do so much good, but they need a little push. Telling them what's wrong can be one such push.

So if you feel you need to be the tough one all the time,

Don't be.

If you are ashamed to talk, to let your voice be heard, especially between sobs,

Don't be.

If you're afraid to reach out for help,

Don't be.

And if you're hesitant to lend help to someone in need,

Don't you dare ever-freaking be, goddamnit.

-D.

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