I got a job at my local radio station
I started and finished an online class for finding literary agents, and received my critique. (Overwhelmingly positive)
I've started on my novel outline, and am now well underway in my projected 3-month plan to rough draft.
I've been struggling with addictions, not to drugs, but to videogames
And that's what I want to talk about. I've done hours of endless research into my craft now, and I have the corniest thing happening at the moment; I've got this inspirational video playing in the background as I write this.
The biggest struggle myself and many other aspiring authors (and sometimes published authors, too) face is perseverance and determination. All my life, I've gone through cycles of interest. I burn out incredibly fast, and it's actually kind of sad to think on all the unfinished projects I have in my house--mountains of drawings, paintings, and sketches; towers of story concepts, gigabytes(!) of songs I'd written but never sung.
All of my creativity, pooled and rotten. It doesn't help that I suffer from ADHD, OCD, and Depression. It's a constant battle to keep myself focused on what I want from life, rather than what I want to keep me entertained for the next hour. I've had to go through drastic steps; uninstalling all games and additional software from both computers and making game accounts impossible to retrieve. All it takes is a moment of weakness for me to slip into a crash, something I've suffered time and time again. I almost didn't graduate high school on time, due to grades. I almost flunked out of college. I lost an $1800 music scholarship. I've gained weight. I've lost writing competition opportunities.
I'm pulling myself into the light in college. I've lost 30 lbs. since the beginning of the year. I'm pursuing a life as an author.
Do you know what the largest fear in America is?
Public Speaking.
Followed by Death, in 2nd place.
Do you know what my largest fear is?
Time.
That one day I'll wake up and look at the clock and realize that I'm on my deathbed, and I'm in the same place I was seventy years ago. That I'll waste away without contributing a single, Goddamned thing to this world. Me. With all of these gifts I've been given, will squander my talents and support, and waste away into nothing.
I can't let that happen.
They say in the writing world that the difference between the good authors and the great authors is perseverance and determination.
Do I want to be good?
Sure.
But I'd rather be great.
Because it's a feeling I get. When I look at a sunset, or feel raindrops on my skin. The world is telling me it's ready. But I never am. One thing I've taken to doing, is looking at the night sky on a holiday. The stars shine high overhead, a twinkling array of celestial peacekeepers. I look at the heavens, and think one day I might be that high off the ground. I can be one of those protectors. I can be a beacon of hope. I can do so much.
To all of you just like me, here is my message to you.
I'm going forward. I'm not backing down, not for an instant. I will not rest, I will not falter--even after I've reached my goal. Why stop there? If you've got time, you use it, Goddamn it. But you use it to make you a better person--you use your time to build a better tomorrow, and buy more for everyone else.
So to all my brothers and sisters:
I'm crawling out of the darkness.
Follow me.
-D.
